Too Much, Too Little, Just Right...

Over the years I have provided social skills instruction in various settings. At my public school job, it was commonly joked that someone as quirky as me should not be teaching social skills.  Often, IEP goals for social skills interventions utilize judgment terms such as "appropriate" and "inappropriate".  The Zones of Regulation curriculum (Leah M. Kuypers) and the Social Thinking Curriculum (Michelle Garcia Winners) both involve less judgment in their terminology of "expected" versus "unexpected" behavior.  Less "judgy", but equally subjective.

When playing the game "Too Much, Too Little, Just Right" the children are asked to guess which "balloon" the "actor" is portraying in an otherwise neutral phrase or action. After many observations, I have come to the conclusion that "Just Right" in social behavior is as individual and varied as "Just Right" in the level of heat an individual wants on their wings.  I, personally, like hot & spicy wings, while my husband prefers mild teriyaki.  Is one "more right" than the other?  I also have learned that perspective is key.  One kiddos "too little" may be "just right" in the classroom.

If there is no right or wrong in social skills, then why am I offering social skills groups?  Because social skills are critically important to societal acceptance and success.  What I don't want to do is produce a homogeneous bunch of robotic kiddos asking rehearsed social questions in scripted conversations.  What I do want is children who can participate in group activities by following the hidden social agendas while still maintaining the traits that make them unique, wonderful, quirky individuals.