"Cruel" to be kind?

Last week I had, not one, but two people ask me about kids who "don't talk".  In one case it was my neighbor who is concerned about his grand daughter and another case was a friend concerned about her friend's daughter.  In both cases, little girls over the age of three are not talking.  In both cases, they wanted to know if they should be concerned and how to help.

I, of course, suggested both children be seen and evaluated by a Speech Language Pathologist and I wondered why their pediatricians hadn't recommended this.  After talking to both individuals, what I could ascertain is that the girls both appear to comprehend language and are very social.  They just don't verbalize.  In both cases, it appears that the parents, in an effort to be "kind", give their child what they want/need without a verbal request or even an attempt.

Language is acquired though exposure and early attempts are reinforced.  An infant babbling inadvertently says 'baba" and suddenly is given a bottle!  REINFOREMENT!  An infant babbling inadvertently says "dada" and is rewarded with happy faces, cheers, and DADDY!  REINFORCEMENT.  Sometimes it just doesn't happen naturally, and that is when the adults in the environment have to be the "gatekeeper".  You have to play ignorant even if you know what the child wants, only granting their wish when they make an attempt to communicate.  Cruel?  Not at all.  It is a natural occurrence in life - you have to work for what you want!!!!